Winning World Recognition: The Darwin Awards
(Trigger Warning: this article contains contents about death and killing oneself; be aware as you proceed)
If you haven’t heard of the Guinness World Record, go check it out when you’re bored. There are all kinds of records earned by people, animals, and even objects. As long as your record title is measurable, breakable, standardizable, verifiable, has only one variable, and is the best in the world (along with a few health and safety considerations), you can consider applying for a Guinness World Record. If you have the ability, breaking an existing record is also an option. Here is a screenshot of the online “Hall of Fame” for Guinness World Records that may inspire you:
It is a pride to win a worldwide record, but don’t be too proud of yourself if someone says you should receive the Darwin Awards.
Unlike its name, the Darwin Awards is not for the best scientist in the field of evolution; Rather, it gives prizes for individuals who contributed to evolution by keeping their genes out of the gene pool of humanity. In plain words, the Darwin Awards recognize the dumbest way to die (or sterilize themselves). Notably, it only takes killing oneself into account. Killing others or injuring bystanders is not accepted.
According to the web page, the founder of Darwin Awards collected those stories during a biological research in 1993 and shared them with his friends. Then he started receiving more stories, which led to the repository of the Darwin Awards. It is fine to laugh at the stories as the site itself is full of dark humor; there is even a “random story” button that helps you navigate through years of award winners and enjoy their stupid deaths.
Just like the Guinness World Records, the Darwin Awards also has its criteria: No reproduction (out of the gene pool), excellence (stupidity), self-selection (causing your own downfall), maturity (capable of judgment), and veracity (a true story). There is a list of non-Darwin-Awards-winning deaths that are too common but still not safe to try out, such as climbing into zoo cages.
To elaborate on what qualifies for the Darwin Awards, here are some stories from the 2020 Darwin Award winners.
First, we have 47-year-old Mr. Tedzu, who bravely tried to climb the snowy Mount Fuji in October with only street clothes, a pair of climbing poles, and a phone to live-stream. Knowing little about climbing, he wandered off the trail and, when he slipped, he held on to his phone instead of jabbing his climbing poles. The man fell off the pinnacle, as one might expected.
Imagine climbing this monster with the clothes you wear to school in the winter
"Bet he doesn't try that trick again!" - Lee Conkey, FaceBook
Next, 20-year-old Bradley Streeter from Australia, a lad with a bright future, chose to do a midnight handstand on the viewing platform railing, with the Cave Garden Sinkhole below him. This hole is the cenote on the flanks of a dormant volcano, with a protective fence surrounding the precipice and a viewing platform extended over it. Unfortunately, the fence did not stop Bradley as he fell straight into the dark cave. According to a Facebook comment, he also lost his bet: “Told him he couldn't do it."
Then there’s Michael Sexson, who read the book The Thrill of the Chase by Forrest Fenn. The author claimed to bury 2,000,000 dollars worth of gold coins and other artifacts out in the Rocky Mountains and hid his clues in this book. 58-year-old Sexson was so confident about his interpretation, that he persuaded a 65-year-old friend to go hunt for the treasure in the mountains, without even preparing for an overnight stay. Fortunately, the two men were rescued and came out alive. One month later, Michael managed to persuade his friend again and set out for a second try, this time still unprepared. They used a truck, then went with snowmobiles, and finally continued on foot, until they were found ironically near the exact spot of their first rescue. This time, Michael came out of the mountains in a body bag. Fun fact: he is not the only person who died looking for the said treasure.
Sadly, there is no monetary prize for both Guinness World Records and Darwin Awards. But, hey, at least you get the opportunity to gain some global recognition after your demise.
Rumor has it that in June 2020 the author claimed the treasure was discovered, so don’t look for it yourself
Reference:
Guinness World Records https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/
Darwin Awards https://darwinawards.com/